"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

You're right.. I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know how to betray all of those memories.
I don't know how to keep them with me.
I don't know which path to choose.
I don't know how to please everyone.
I don't even know how to please me.
I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know how to deal with you.

You think I don't care. You think that I want to see you hurt. You think that you're nothing more than an irritation in my life. You think I don't want you anymore.

You're wrong.

You fail to see the possibility that this is causing me just as much if not more pain than it does you.

Yes, in the end it was I that made the decision. I did it. I broke your heart. I hurt you.

Yet, who is it that stays up crying in the night?

I will accept your anger.
I will accept your frustration.
Take it all out on me and just let it go.
Say what you need to say, not what I want to hear.
I will accept the peace that follows, if there ever is any.

You know better than anyone how to hurt me.
What to say.
What to do.

You can tell yourself you can't.
You can tell yourself I'm heartless.
We both know its not true.

I don't hate you.
I don't even dislike you.

But this time, its your choice.
You choose from here how things will play out.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I'm sorry if I'm hurting you now.

No longer can I tailor my life to other people's needs,
Because there is no one life that fits all.

With this realization-
Yes, I care about you.
No, I don't want to hurt you.
But I am done fitting my life to how you feel about it.
Even though, I know you never asked me to.

You ask me why I care,
And the answer I've given you remains.

Towards you I have felt a connection that I could never explain to anyone else.
I couldn't even explain it to you.
No, its not just a casual friend.
No, its no longer a lover.
But it still remains.
It may always remain,
Whether you choose to stay or go.

I know the trouble I've caused.
I despise myself for it.
And yet, dwelling on it helps no one.
I don't know how to help anyone.

This is not an excuse.
This is how I feel.