Well well well...

Ok.. I'm really bad at this whole blog thing. I know. But what other excuse could I come up with to further put off doing my homework? Yeah.. So, I survived the first week of school. Barely. And now as the second week is finishing out... well.. I got nothing. I really am not happy at SW so far this year.. Part of me knows its just high school, but another part is reminding me that it wasn't this bad last year... with all my best friends. Who for the most part, all left.

Apparently I'm really bad at making friends. I actually don't think I've made any yet this year. I have people that I know, yes. I have people that hug me in the hallways and shout "SAMI!!!" which is always nice... yeah.. But there's a big line between the slightly superficial clique of friends, and the ones I've made and can actually talk to.

Even I didn't expect things to start out quite so rough... and that's saying a lot. After the first day Nate came over after school to cheer me up, which was nice. And its been really REALLY helping things to be doing stuff like writing music. Stuff that actually creates something. Same with writing, and drawing.. and art in general.

Uck. I really don't like school. And then, as always... there's the anxiety attacks and such. Lunch time is the worst. Somehow there was formed and obligation to sit with this certain friendly, loud, mellow dramatic, hyperactive, and generally insane group of people during lunch. Which is cool and all... unless you, like me, have anxiety issues and end up having a panic attack the second you are put into such a situation. And I -do- like being with people.. its just lethal sometimes.

I think the roughest part of this entire transition from summer to school is that my therapist has gone on vacation for the month of September. Leaving me to rough the first month out on my own, after a calm summer with constant help. Uckuckuck.

I honestly would love to run away to some rustic mountain scene and live in a little shack in the woods, living off the land. Sounds like a nice enough break.. completely and totally alone. Ahhhh... And then another part of me would love even more to just curl up into a fetal position humming songs and meditating until June. And then, anOTHER part of me kind of just wants to crawl into a hole somewhere and stay there.

Well, I'd better be doing my homework. Ewwww...