extreme sleep deprivation... O_O

yeah... the title pretty much explains all that follows... lmao.
-Going to Rochester w/ Narcia this weekend... funfunfun ^.^... I just hope I get home in time... =/
-I need sleep... NOW!!
-I can't go to bed until my parents get home tonight...
-Parents out until midnight... ><
-You can tell I'm emotionally worn when I can't even put together a normal blog post... but bullet points can still get the general message across I guess... -,-
-Ugh... trying to hold 3 conversations and post a blog=not easy... especially for someone with as many attention deficits as I...
-Hey look! A squirrel!!
-I told you this was an issue... ><
-Ugh... my back hurts... a lot.. >< no more advil... WHY!?
-need sleep... want sleep...
-Jackie, you said you would call back in a couple seconds... this was an hour ago... -,-
-I wonder if I will actually get to see Terrell this weekend. It's been a week now.. =/
-we have had some rather enlightening/interesting conversations since then though... very interesting... lol.
-I'm gonna go lay down... yeah.. that sounds nice...
-*ends other conversations*

*lays down and meditates*
ahh... this is what weekends were meant for... ^.^

Working through it...

I was really worried about this week with how it started... so tiring... but my hopes have been lightened a bit after today. And now, thinking about it- today wasn't to great either... in all honesty it kind of sucked. From waking up with a bloody nose in a dry 50 degree room at 5:30 this morning, to being unusually hungry today... things were a little off... But I'm in an extremely good mood! And I have been most of today, so it's nice all the same.
I think as strange as today may have been, I think I'm finally on my second wind for the week... not to mention the hyper-dose of caffeine received today during band... nobody needs coffee that strong... nobody. xD
I did go to bed last night at a reasonable time too, even though I woke up super early... that may have something to do with it. I have a ton to do for English tonight, so chances are I'll be up way late... :/ but hopefully I can get an early start on it, so It won't be too bad...
ugh... and I swear, If I get called Ms. Chocobra by Jackie one more time, I'm gonna asplode like that bra in the dryer... IT WAS HER THAT PUT THE CHOCOLATE THERE!!! SOOO NOT HER PLACE TO MAKE FUN OF ME!! XD lmao...
there are so many things wrong with that last paragraph... so very many...
But as of now Sami is:
Happy
Bouncy
Awake
and completely and totally unfocused...
good luck with that studying, sami... ><

Well, I hope your weeks have been good, and keep up the studying! I'll try and do the same... =P
And Jackie, MY NAME IS NOT MS.CHOCOBRA... OR MS.YELOW-BRICK-ROAD... so... just lemme be... O_O XP

Already!? REALLY!?

School again, tomorrow... PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO!!!
pweez!!!!
I so cannot wait for summer...
The heat- it bugs me
The excess freetime- makes me feel useless
The extra daylight- makes me miss the stars
The lack of snow- saddens me
The ability to drive this summer- is useful
The extra time for friends- nice
The extra time for Trall- <3 <3 <3 <3
The lack of hypothermia from being outside for hours- nice.
The time for a job- $$$
The lack of homework- ulcer removing... ><
The diminishing of crowded hallways, large groups of completely insane teenagers crushed together; the bitchy gossip; the insane teachers; the insecure, yet judgmental teens- very, very, VERY nice...
The excess time for sleep- ahhh...
NGYC- I CAN'T WAIT!!!

this list is making me sad... summer is so far away... T~T
I should probably go to bed and let my head take a break before its re-immersion into the chaos some like to call high school...

If I don't make it... you know if I loved you... xD don't touch my computer, burn my journal- thanks.

<3SAMiSAYSwRAwR

PS- no kidding about the journal... just burn... don't even try to open it. (Terrell, you read my journal without full consent, and your afterlife is filled with suffering... and no more kisses.. so THERE! ^.^ just thought I'd get that out there.)

Your Guardian Angel... <3 <3 <3

<3<3<3

Lyrics-

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
<3<3<3

The usual weekend insanity...

At my mum's house for the weekend I am left in a rather good mood... whether it be the relief of the semester's end, or the excitement of the weekend's activities; I am content. If all goes well, today I will be able to spend a couple hours with Terrell before going over to a friends house for a mini jam-session. funfun!^.^
I've slowly been catching up on sleep, which is nice after only getting a couple hours every night this past week... I went to bed at like 11 last night, and I slept in 'till 10. *yay*
So, I feel good, and I have plans for a nice, eventful yet relaxing weekend. I never want it to end! (Too bad it will, and way too soon)
Well, I'd better be going soon, finishing up chores and stuff while I have the chance...

Only one more to go...

Yes... now after completing (and acing, might I add ^.^) that last math test, I only have the geography test left... I fear epic failure with that more than anything... :/ I'm scared...
But anyways... I only need to endure a few more hours of school and then, end of day, end of school week, end of semester! *yay*
Agh... I wanna be home, sleeping... or better yet- with Terrell, anywhere... that sounds nice right about now =P
The school day is long... but the good news is that as of now I am not failing any classes... I have a couple C's... but that's the worst of it. And hopefully I won't completely bomb this next test, ruining that...
Finals are stressful... and sleep depriving.. x.x
And so... I should probably end this now as one of the shortest actual blog posts in a while... on to geography!! -,-


LATER THIS AFTERNOON:
test=bombed... T~T

i think i need a hug... ><

My not too recent Reformation...

Floating on a Cloud

The blue sunlit sky hangs overhead,
Awakening spirits, both living and dead,
Music floats through that cool winter air,
Leaving no room for worry or care.

Her once clouded life, now fearless and free.
She never had realized what happiness could be.
And the people all asked, “Who is this girl, for we had not known her before…”
“Her face is familiar, but her smile; unseen. We thought she would show it no more.”

Now off on her cloud, she floats through the skies,
With an ecstatic heart, and sparkling eyes.
Now so hopeful, so happy, so high,
That she never foresaw a dark cloud in the sky.

And as that cloud passes, she’s drenched with rain,
Left too wet and cold to float once again.
Tears pouring down, she’s more than distraught,
But then out of nowhere, is struck with a thought:

“This sadness, these tears, are not a blue moon,
Just the pain in your past, to which you turned immune.
With happiness brought, by that shining light,
You’d forgotten the sadness of life’s pitch-black night.

And with that happiness, with that light, to you came a small cost,
The immunity you had gained through scars, is now forever lost.”
So only in contrast, to the happiness she’d met,
Life’s fated rainfall was more agonizing yet.

The rain pours down, but the sun shines through,
Showing the girl, what she already knew.
Is it better to fly, and fall to the ground?
Or get used to the shadows, where love is not found?

But wrapped up in her cloud, she once again flies,
Because she knows of happiness that lies within the skies,
And no amount of broken bones will keep her from that flying,
For being left down on the ground, she knew that she was dying.

At last...

And finally, once again the week is at its end, and I am once again at peace with myself... well- as close as one in my position could get to it. Fresh out of the shower, I am warm, clean and can't wait to not wake up tomorrow morning... (What a strange aspiration... ^.^)
I'm very much looking forward to Sunday when it seems that I will be able to once again see Terrell. Hopefully this time coming home without nearly passing out upon looking in the mirror afterward. I'm sure Jackie is getting sick of the frantic "JACKIE JACKIE!!! MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!" phone calls by now... =P
So, this past while I have been actually pretty content; whether or not it is seen that way by others. I have been finding the need for a bit more "ME- time". Not that I don't absolutely love and adore all of my friends, but right now I just seem to have the need of a break from that social extravagance. Most of today consisted of walking from class to class, sitting in the emptiest corner of the classrooms and drawing while taking small mental notes of lectures on the side. (And I am actually pretty happy with that drawing as of now, btw). When conversations were initiated (by others, of course) I ended up ending them as quickly and politely as I could. Once again, this is not because I don't love talking to my friends, it's just me having a strange while...
And as stated earlier, don't get me wrong, I am very happy. Just as of now, happy spending some extra time with me. So, if I seem kind of down, or moody lately... It's just me, and it will- as always- pass quickly.

On to other, less repetitive topics: tomorrow I think we have a pep band thing for a hockey game... but from the looks of the sign up sheet nobody very fun, or that I know very well is going to be there... :* but I don't mind hockey, and I need the points, so I signed up anyways. Anthony is probly gonna be there though, so it shouldn't be too bad...
Not to mention how.. ermhrm "Interesting" that last pep band event was... lmao.

Well, for another on the verge of being a late-night blog post, I think this will suffice... for now. =P
Sweet Dreams to all, have an awesome weekend!
~SAMiSAYSwRAwR<3

whooaaa... trippy...

NEW LAYOUT *yayayay*
Comment w/ your likes and dislikes regarding the new color scheme and pic please!
I may be messing around with different pictures over the next while as well... but I would love to get some input.

Mondays... -,-

Woke up at 8:30 this morning... first thoughts through head

• Ah... nice sleep. What time is it?
• hmm... 8:30, I slept in...
• OH SH** I GOTTA BE AT SCHOOL, RIGHT NOW!!
• How am I gonna get to school?
• What am I gonna wear today?
• Oh yeah... *looks down* sweatshirt... owwie...
• Maybe Sarah can give me a ride to school today...
• *looks in mirror* OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!?
• I really need to dry my hair before sleep...
• Did I do my math hw?
• How late am I gonna be for school?
• Will I miss 1st hour?
• ugh... sleep breath
• *brushing teeth looking in mirror* AGH HAIR! AGH- SWEATSHIRT!!!
  
• *with sweatshirt in one hand, hair straightener in other* I'm gonna be so late- and sarah can't give me a ride so I gotta walk... -,-
• I don't like school.
• I don't like mondays.
• I wanna see Terrell today... -.-

Yeah... I really don't like mondays... monday+sami=BAD
I hope you guys had reasonably good days! =D

Hmm... I've been on advil all day... yesterday's experience is turning out to be a rather painful one... but it's ok.
Ugh, and I was kind of slacking today... so I have SO much homework... I'll be at it for hours. -,-
This is gonna be a long week.

wait... REALLY? O.O

So, Sunday has come- oh how sad that the weekend is already ending. And it was going pretty well too! ^.^

School is such a hassle... psh. Oh yeah, my mom noticed... if you don't know what I'm talking about- chances are you're not supposed to.

She wasn't particularly angry... just kind of sarcastic, and funny about it. She plans on using it both for black-mail, and to make my sister angry... my family is so weird... o.o

Oohh, I might get to see my Love today... sounds fun. =) life is happy... unfortunately I need to go yell at a friend to stop being suicidal.... so I might post later.

I haven't had a whole lot to post about lately... hmm. <3

Vicious Ping-Pong I tell you... VICIOUS

AMAZING, right?
except for the creepy clown...
he scares me. luckily they locked him up, huh? ^.^ luls
LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND, and lately mine has been spinning. =P
Happy Friday myloves!

I got hit with a hammer... no... ping-pong ball? Yeah, you see I was playing ping-pong and...

Soo, It's been a couple days, hasn't it? It's just because I've been journaling again... =P I like posting blogs better though... I seem to find more to talk about knowing that I'm actually talking to other people here, and not just myself.
So, anyways... ignore blog title. lol, the funny thing is that I actually had a kid believing I got hit by a hammer... I was being sarcastic assuming that a 15 yr old would know otherwise, but he actually believed me; so I went with it. =D
Anyways... my life has been... well twisted I guess. But with Terrell in it, it could be nothing short of amazing, so that's how it is. Katie, you should call me. (but after 9pm, or on weekends, or on my house phone, or after 1/10) I wanna talk to you... so just call, k?
hehe, the song Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll- Guns 'n' Roses just came on... I'm so weird... =P
Quite obviously I really don't have anything specific to talk about that I'm gonna post... looking at how this is really short so far, and I've already wandered around with topics like 8 times... =P

So, I will now leave you with a small piece of advice- Watch out when walking through alleys after dark (or any other place for that matter), there are vampire-zombie-werewolves out... lots of reports of attacks lately. <3

I love you guys, hope your lives have been good (God knows you deserve it)
~SAMiSAYSwRAwR

Journaling!? again!?

Yes yes... journaling is just, I guess a lot more private... understandably. =P
But in any case, I have been and now that I have been, there are obviously some things I want to share... well for now. :P
But, let's get started, shall we?

Why I Love you-
I love the way you say you love me.
I love the way you kiss my forehead.
I love the way you say good morning.
I love the way you remain in my thoughts, day and night.
I love the way you whisper things in my ear.
I love the sound of your voice floating in the air around me.
I love the way you smell.
I love the way you look.
I love you're insane height compared to mine.
I love the way you make me blush.
I love the warmth of being in your arms.
I love the way you make even bad days seem wonderful.
I love the way you say good night.
I love the way you let me trust you.
I love the way you let me adore you.
I love the way you pretend to stretch before putting your arm around me- as though you need an excuse...
I love the way you sometimes kiss my cheek by mistake.
I love the way you always give me something to look forward to.
I love the way you make my heart beat fast.
I love the way you apologize unnecessarily.
I love the way you hold me when I'm cold.
I love the way you hold me when I'm sleepy.
I love the way you hold me. <3
I love the way you write.
I love the way you compliment even the worst of my creations.
I love the way you make me smile with every thought of you.
I love the way you brighten my world.
I love the way you answer my questions.
I love the way you speak your mind.
I love the way you attempt to comprehend my insanity.
I love the way you let me love you.
I love the way this list could never truly end...
but must before my hands fall off from writing so fast.... <3
I love you.

there... my journaling. hmmm... we'll see how this goes over.

~SAMiSAYSwRAwR